Thursday, 18 September 2008

Buy Part o' this Ship

OPEN ON
HER GUV'NESS in the middle of giving birth (her own dang self), whilst deliverin' one of sumbudy else's babies with each arm.

A wider shot reveals a birthing-farm of sorts, even though this is a living room.


J-MACDADDY is standin' a few feet away in front of a television. He's wearing a cowboy hat -
aaaand a holster - witha gun.. and nothin' else.


CUT TO
TELEVISION AD

SENATOR SUNRISE BO RAMA is wearing a red white & blue shirt an' doin' that thing with his hand, 'cuz he's a proclaimin'..

BO RAMA:
..took their eye off the ball...
Pockeestan, we're takin' ya out...
same ol' politics...
wouldn't do that in Kansas...
ordinary folks...

BACK TO
LIVINGROOM BABYFARM

SIN DEE MAC enters with blood-drenched hands.

SINDEE:
We need more mongoloids!

J-MACDADDY: (popping viagra)
Ancient Chinese secret, my ass,
you fucking cunt! Hehe.
That'll be three more warriors
and five more whores in no time.
Yes sir, my friends... if they eat
their vegetables... and drink their milk...
fundamen'als 're strong.

GUV'NESS
:
Liiiife!!!!

J-MACDADDY
:
Did I ever tell y' th' one about
Senator Flintstone in a snuff flick?
Hehe- t's funny, 'cus I wannit t'be true.

He pops some Flintstone's Chewable Viagra from a bottle and begins to hallucinate, freaking out at the Bo Rama ad


CUT TO
B' RAMA AD ON THE TV

Bo Rama's image and dress blur in- -and out of several scary foreign combat uniforms...

RAMA:
..reachin' across the - uh-- aisle...
allpraiseallah... we will bury you!

...he fades into wearing a bow-tie and horn-rimmed glasses and points like Uncle Sam. For a moment he takes on this costume as well - but with Soviet colors.

BACK TO
LIVINGROOM BABYFARM

J-MAC:
Thems my lines! I'm the Manchurian Candidate!!
This means war, my friends!!

GUV'NESS: (blood-curdlingly)
Liiiiiiiife!!!!

Thunder claps, and clouds gather - and then part during the following:

BO RAMA: (VO)
..same ol' politics...
should be bombin' Pockeestan...
harborin' Lyn Baden...
fix the economy...
belief you can change in...
FISA sucks, but it rocks the -
uh-- Bipartisan Ship...
more o' th' same...
Yeahee-yehee-yehee- Yes we muthafuckin' can!