Monday, 13 June 2011

Who Reads this Shit?

Cursory analysis of the priNtin’t’fYT® media organization determines that "the New York Times sucks" or "they sold out".

I won't dispute those conclusions, but believe a more thorough examination is necessary to maintain healthy bitter insanity:
Mr. Obama, who enraged many financial industry executives a year and a half ago by labeling them “fat cats” and criticizing their bonuses, followed up the meeting with phone calls to those who could not attend.
Enthusiast Translation: Those fatcats sure hate Obama! Lucky for us he rode to victory on one-dollar donations via PayPal from university students and their grandmothers who phone banked and canvased door-to-door.

"Realist" Translation: Damn Campaign finance! We just gotta win one more time.

Actual Translation: Board meeting.

They manage to string together a narrative about an administration having to convince big campaign contributors that they haven't been betrayed, and the first couple of paragraphs consist of language intended to convince voters that they haven't been betrayed:
The event, organized by the Democratic National Committee, kicked off an aggressive push by Mr. Obama to win back the allegiance of one of his most vital sources of campaign cash — in part by trying to convince Wall Street that his policies, far from undercutting the investor class, have helped bring banks and financial markets back to health.
Enthusiast Translation: He sure tricked those fatcats! They'll probably fall for it again! LOL! GoRama!

"Realist" Translation
: It's just for show. Behind the scenes they are working for legislation with the kind of teeth that take a while to come in.

Actual Translation: They showed them their portfolios and said there's more where that came from.

As I mentioned last week, intelligent people believe that presidents sell out for the election, but if they can just get to a second term, they'll be free to obey their conscience, unencumbered by reelection concerns. This view defies logic and all evidence to the contrary, but so it goes.

And precisely the contrary is true. The second term is when things like Gramm–Leach–Bliley come as easy as spooging on a dress. I really don't see how someone who'd been raped with NAFTA barely out of the gate could believe otherwise. Must be a disease of the politically self-aware.

Back to priNtin’t’fYT® - you have to go to page two of the same article to read the message where the high-stakes gambler is addressed:
The campaign is also courting prominent Wall Street figures who could serve as Mr. Obama’s ambassadors at firms known for leaning Republican: Lenard B. Tessler, a managing director at Cerberus Capital who donated to Mr. Romney and Mrs. Clinton in 2008, and Hamilton E. James, the president of the private equity behemoth Blackstone.
Translation: Don't waste your money again. If you think our donors are doing well now, imagine how you'll make out after our reelection.

Now: beneath, between, and behind all of this, depending on which direction you approach it from, my actual translation is superficial. But that is another wrinkle in the Image Nation.