Wednesday, 11 January 2012

That Dark Place

The dark place is not a reference to having my head up my ass. Though the sentiment is comforting. Blissful even.

The darkness has nothing to do with loneliness. They just happen to concur. The perfect relationship. Whenever I am amongst the many - almost invariably, at least - I long to steal away to our secret spot. The darkness. The loneliness. As cruel as they can be, I know they understand me. They always know what I'm thinking. They sometimes complete my sentences before I'm aware of whatever it is I wanna say. They're always there for me and will never leave.

Sad loneliness really is identical to being in love. Without the intoxication. When you really focus in on the melancholy, the ennui, the only thing that's missing is the giddy haze. Okay - and the "sharing". But you don't need romance for that. If you'll pardon me: That's what friends are for.

Of course, there is the sex. But that's not sharing. Sharing masturbation maybe. If you find yourself thinking, "I really like pleasuring her/him," don't forget to add, "because it gets me off."

If I have a biggest aversion to the romantic relationship, it's that it takes the selfishness of a normal friendship and ratchets it beyond repair. If I have a biggest fear as it relates to being in a relationship, it's that I'll finally lose my mind. But with somebody else in the room.

Bridge of Sighs - Scheringringbrücke, Wedding-Berlin
(title suggested by Alice Lee)



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