Friday, 17 April 2015


People've been asking me all week — like, just now somebody stopped me on the street and was full on, "So, davidly, whaddaya think of Hills' new logo?" — and I'm like, Jesus, people. Alright, already! I'll tell you what I think.

I like it. I think it's brilliant. I am aware that a plurality were scratching their heads upon its ugly unveiling. But let... me... be... ab-so-lutely clear: the point here goes to Candidate Clinton. It really shows you mean business when you say fuck everybody, I'm going with the symbol which was market tested and shown to resonate sympathy with masochists and sadists in equal measure.

Here's my break-down of the semiotics:

1) It's bold & decisive, knowing exactly which way it's headed.

2) It's angular & solid. Wherever its values may veer, stated or otherwise, they'll be made of steel.

3) It's time tested. You may not think so, but what do you know? When's the last time you ran for President? That's what I thought.  H > U

4) It's efficient. Bringing to mind the promise of crashing through both towers in one go. This signals a willingness to do whatever it takes to get the dirtiest deed done directly and with the Saudis & Mossad and the CIA & FBI all Goldman'd & default-swapped into one super-secret trade initiative running on batteries of the corporate school-to-prison program and backed by the most expansive military industry the world may ever know. Carlyle Group eat your heart out!

5) Last, but in no way least, it's masculine & progressive. Just look at that arrow! The power of this message lies in the counter-reminder that we finally get to get a strong woman to torch her way, all Libertas-like, unremittingly down the road that got us to this glorious state we're in now.

Even if, at best, all we can honestly say is that it charters us slightly less– or more slowly in the wrong direction, why not? What's the worst that could happen?