Kenneth Mars
14.04.1936 - 12.02.2011
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& the primal craft of cachinnation
...definitelynotadaily
It's
in Berlin.
aus'm Twit
-
* The overgap between complimenting clever coinage and criticizing corrupted connotation.
getwattert am 14. Mär 2024
* Six-and-a-half of one, a half-witted baker's dozen of another.
getwattert am 12. Nov 2023
* Take a drink whenever a reporter at a postgame presser places "kind of" before the verb.
getwattert am 01. Feb 2023
* Blood, Sweat, Tears & Urine.
getwattert am 01. Jan 2023
* Don't know protocol but imagine Liz 'll be PM at least until Chuck Double Junior is awarded his little hat.
getwattert am 18. Okt 2022
* The implication of progress-branding is that the liberation of the abused underclass is no closer than it was a century ago.
getwattert am 04. Jan 2022
* Is not the ranking of criminal activity, if not my birthright, the condition to which the human is born?
getwattert am 22. Apr 2021
* I'm gutted. He died way too old! The fact that the fact of his death doesn't care about my feelings doesn't help.
getwattert am 18. Feb 2021
* Ppl who use "we" just to force their own ass in the door.
getwattert am 13. Feb 2021
* Last seen "alive"? What, are there a lot of reported missing corpses?
getwattert am 11. Jan 2021
* A clue that Richard Jewel would be cleared was the absence of a full press mantra that included his middle name.
getwattert am 31. Dez 2020
* Gesellschaftsidee: Jeder zweite ist Polizist.
getwattert am 27. Sep 2020
* Detecting if Don's & Joe's tweets are their own, the one's can be confirmed by their unique incoherence while the other's determined too coherent to be his.
getwattert am 28. Apr 2020
The simple attribution of terrorism serves as a magnetic rallying cry for anyone who wants to belong to that greater cause even if they have no practical affinity for its stated ideological details or connection to its alleged organisers, and feeds the more massive machine whose sole purpose is dousing that cause with the fuel that feeds its character.
getwattert am 22. Mär 2020
* The human's conception of itself may be more fossilized than the evidence of its origin.
getwattert am 03. Okt 2019
* Geteilte Macht bringt nichts solange sie einig sind.
getwattert am 04. Jan 2019
* Changing beds is a distant cry from being woke.
getwattert am 17. Sep 2018
* Never attribute to stupidity that which is adequately explained by malice of a more machiavellian nature — even if the mockery is more fun.
getwattert am 13. Aug 2018
* God is the one who keeps the utilities flowing after everyone else has perished and left you alone on the Earth.
getwattert am 04. Aug 2018
* Das ist ein Kinderspiel. Leider bin ich kein Kind mehr.
getwattert am 31. Jul 2018
* Das Schöne am Breitsein ist, dass man immer unabhängig von der Breite noch seitwärts durch die Tür kommen kann... oder?
getwattert am 22. Jul 2018
* My spirit of the staircase shutters & shouts, wondering why I won't keep the fuck quiet.
getwattert am 20. Jul 2018
* Ich schick dir 'ne Rechnung.
getwattert am 15. Jul 2018
* Theoretical physics, fashionable? Like, that someone thought a reduced rear bike fender that runs from barely 30° to hardly 60° 'd be enough to keep muck off your back?
getwattert am 20. Mai 2018
* Much is accomplished with a length of lexemes & evocative imagery served with Bernays spread liberally between well-heeled slices of bread.
getwattert am 24. Mär 2018
* I like Neanderthals. But they're hard to understand.
getwattert am 17. Mär 2018
* Internet Monger is to whom one is for practical purposes slavishly served up and until era's end dutifully destined.
getwattert am 21. Jan 2018
* Show some respect. 'Cause apparently it's just a show.
getwattert am 15. Jan 2018
* Das größte Kulturerbe Europas ist gen Italien.
getwattert am 17. Nov 2017
* Savor the moment. The time will pass faster.
getwattert am 04. Nov 2017
* Behuf für BER jefunden! TeXeL Drama beeseete, BERöffnung sieht keina. Kiek ma hier klicken. Hamwa wenijstins ne Haltazelle!
gepiepst am ja 30. Aug 2017
* Schrödinger's free will, like Murphy's Law, in both doing and not doing, posits theoretical damnation.
getwattert am 27. Jul 2017
* A common error made upon hearing about bad policy is rhetorically deferring what's wrong already today to its suggested more ominous future.
getwattert am 28. Jun 2017
* The resistance to those who'd deny us socially benevolent globalism is being used as a front for the expansion of financial exploitation.
getwattert am 26. Jun 2017
* All along the hollow flat earth there are portals to the third dimension!
getwattert am 19. Jun 2017
* There are agents & orgs who're allowed to craft secret alliances of exclusive convenience whose legality remain opaque if at all challenged.
getwattert am 27. Mai 2017
* Wer Glashäuser baut...
getwattert am 21. Mai 2017
* "Kayfabe WILL be reestablished, session by session." —BLCKDGRD
getwattert am 20. Mai 2017
* Worse than its misapplication is the superfluous "literally" in lieu of an already perfectly gratuitous "like". Like, way worse.
getwattert am 10. Apr 2017
* "My taxes pay your salary!"
"You're taxed at 7 bucks an hour?"
getwattert am 19. Mär 2017
* The star's named after its discoverer's murderer.
getwattert am 10. Mär 2017
* The Garden of Eden as dawn of consciousness allegory might reveal an evolutionary hurdle not for the human, but the tree.
getwattert am 17. Jan 2017
* Even if he is a sign of the apocalypse, it's as one of the four horses' asses. A real Rushmore would air both sides of all its heroes.
getwattert am 11. Dez 2016
* The wilful disregard that the Paris Agreement does nothing to avert global ruin is a much deeper denial of climate change.
getwattert am 27. Nov 2016
* There's fake news, then there's the broader reaching, more misleading malignancy of mainstream messaging.
#President_Prudence
getwattert am 21. Nov 2016
* Only by the wildest stretch of the imagination is Trump the worse of these two evils. See, this wild stretch is the purpose of his campaign.
getwattert am 31. Jul 2016
* Rücksicht gilt erst im Nachhinein aber nicht wenn sie erst im Nachhinein kommt.
getwattert am 22. Jul 2016
* Has anyone questioned why cops continue to go out dressed so provocatively?
getwattert am 19. Jul 2016
* Why is the "if some of the victims had had guns" argument not laughable when applied to arming rebels in some far away land?
#toobigtofail
getwattert am 28. Jun 2016
* Whenever I overnight in London, I get the Continental Brexit.
getwattert am 24. Jun 2016
* Neil deGrasse Tyson's refusal to just go away has surprisingly simple scientific explanation.
getwattert am 15. Jun 2016
* Berliner/innen, die an roten Ampeln warten, wird minute-minütlich minutenlang verarscht.
getwattert am 04. Jun 2016
* A society's outsourcing its memory to something as transient as a cloud.
getwattert am 20. Feb 2016
* The Clintons are a vast
right-wing conspiracy.
getwattert am 27. Jan 2016
* If GOP had WH, Libya'd be Dem Campaign Strategy #1, complete w/ un-ironic !Benghazi! sloganeering.
#standing_w/muslims_while_killingthem
getwattert am 17. Dez 2015
* Alle Menschen sollten zwei Pässe besitzen dürfen. Zumindest. Die Länder sollten "Staatsbürger" beantragen müssen, nicht andersrum.
getwattert am 25. Okt 2015
* When you're hoping that it's the something it is and it turns out to be the something it's not.
getwattert am 21. Okt 2015
* Maybe I'm late to this party, but Stephen Colbert has become a veritable propaganda machine.
#Kerry_on
getwattert am 03. Okt 2015
* "It’s a big job but I’ll bet we could send all the plants back." —Rob Payne
#Send_‘em_all_Back
getwattert am 11. Sep 2015
* I had a dream I ordered eggs over easy and biscuits & gravy. Either I'm in a living hell that's enduringly passed as yummy, or already dead.
getwattert am 08. Sep 2015
* I smell satire that was irony unintended: a target just above Jon's cheering section's heads.
#DailyShowing
getwattert am 08. Aug 2015
* To fully fathom the imperialist is to vigilantly remind yourself that even the most colossal cock-ups are most often a feature.
getwattert am 29. Jun 2015
* "It might take a thousand years before you get a healthy forest again, if ever." —Payne
getwattert am 27. Jun 2015
* False flags are always terrorism, which cannot be said of what they'd depict.
getwattert am 21. Jun 2015
* "Whenever I hear about a disease,
I think I have it."
---"Sounds psychosomatic."
-"What's that?"
getwattert am 17. Jun 2015
* "Conspiracy isn't event, conspiracy is conditions that make the event possible." —BLCKDGRD
getwattert am 16. Jun 2015
* My breathing exercises put me at odds with the universe.
getwattert am 07. Jun 2015
* The elephant's a balloon.
getwattert am 02. Jun 2015
* Fiddling while home burns.
#app'd_to_go_broke
getwattert am 29. Mai 2015
* Sure, TV lied to me. But TV also told me about the lie.
getwattert am 09. Mai 2015
* Evolution is a quaint theory, the ironic result of a narrowly deductive reptilian brain.
#coldflashback
getwattert am 30. Apr 2015
* People with autism develop vaccines.
getwattert am 25. Apr 2015
* No, I'm trying not to grow a mullet.
getwattert am 18. Apr 2015
* Everyone has the opportunity to put all they got on themselves to lose. You really can't beat that.
getwattert am 15. Apr 2015
* It was a schlock lobster!
#down,down...
getwattert am 13. Apr 2015
* The ineffability of spring.
#HillsHasAyes
getwattert am 12. Apr 2015
* Had a sweet job doing nothing, but never got any time off.
getwattert am 12. Apr 2015
* I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable mansplanation.
getwattert am 26. Feb 2015
* No one is saying that no one is saying that.
getwattert am 06. Feb 2015
* The gnostics know they'll never learn from their mistakes.
getwattert am 30. Jan 2015
* If you don't like the weather forecast, hit refresh.
getwattert am 10. Jan 2015
* Always look at least both ways:
Laws of the physical universe trump those of traffic.
#SilvesterTweet
getwattert am 01. Jan 2015
* Your argument is airtight. A little too airtight.
getwattert am 21. Dez 2014
* The best band names are in trochaic diameter.
getwattert am 16. Nov 2014
* Cries of 'relativism' simply seek to relativize something else.
getwattert am 12. Nov 2014
* 'Twas the Wurst of Times
#ScaryStoriesIn5Words
getwattert am 31. Okt 2014
* How is double-starching worse than eating twice as many potatoes?
getwattert am 03. Okt 2014
* Manufacturing Plausible Consent
#chimpsskiing
getwattert am 21. Aug 2014
* While science can be a tool to solve the problems of survival, when applied, it discriminates.
#dick_'n_d'grasse
getwattert am 08. Aug 2014
* As it relates to the creation of artificial intelligence, robots will not be so lifelike as humans are robotic.
getwattert am 27. Jul 2014
* The Intertube has throttled the already myopic memory of the human collective commensurate inversely to their browser agility.
getwattert am 31. Mär 2014
* If we can kill just one innocent person, it will all have been worth it.
getwattert am 02. Mär 2014
* Curses that the lonely witness of non-local consciousness would be the observation of the atrophy of everything but.
getwattert am 20. Feb 2014
* One in four Americans think the sun circles the earth and another one in four think that group is the sole cause of climate change.
getwattert am 16. Feb 2014
* Idea for biopic: Focus on the period when he was researching & shooting Capote. Charlie Kaufman directs.
getwattert am 03. Feb 2014
* If I had a dime for every mistake I made, I'd still go broke.
getwattert am 22. Dez 2013
* The inclusion of pronouns is more important than is sometimes colloquialized.
getwattert am 08. Dez 2013
* Google is not "your friend" even if that's not what you "meant".
getwattert am 23. Nov 2013
* One's "rotting in the attic" is another's "buried in the backyard". And vice-versa.
getwattert am 17. Nov 2013
* There's no final draft, really.
As a matter of fact, they're all final.
#lou syd reeling
getwattert am 03. Okt 2013
* The thing about "the thing is" is that there only need be a thing, which doesn't actually have to be anything other than a thing.
getwattert am 30. Aug 2013
* I can conceive of so many reasons to ask a question, none of which involve wanting to know the answer.
getwattert am 17. Aug 2013
* Post Emergent Mind Syndrome
#th@ pounding sound?
getwattert am 10. Aug 2013
* Go w/ the flow...
...mind the gap..#memoryholes
getwattert am 04. Jul 2013
* Whoever says you can't judge a book by its cover isn't trying hard enough.
getwattert am 26. Jun 2013
* The “so many people couldn’t possibly keep the secret” argument morphs into a rainbow of other excuses whenever someone doesn’t keep the secret.
getwattert am 19. Jun 2013
* Thus spake the Third Horse:
"The end is neigh!"
getwattert am 18. Jun 2013
* Just when you forgot you'd thought it couldn't get any worse...
getwattert am 14. Jun 2013
* I've yet to encounter a second hand that doesn't draw a perfect circle.
getwattert am 03. Jun 2013
* Given Turkey's stellar display of law & order, one wonders if the US State Dept won't find a way to blame Syria. #trail_of_teargas
getwattert am 02. Jun 2013
* What is "quarian" and why are the people in that quaint little bookstore against it?
getwattert am 30. Mai 2013
* It's not oversight unless you're the one doing the overseeing.
getwattert am 24. Apr 2013
* The Academy be HEARTIN' them some black on white n-word. #Oscars
getwattert am 25. Feb 2013
* Morning-after pill.
#candyheartrejects
getwattert am 15. Feb 2013
* Weil was ja klar ist? Ach so!
Der Stoiber leidet an Aphasie
bewirkenden Schlagzeuganfällen!
@Edmund.Transrapid/U-Tube
getwattert am 31. Jan 2013
* Dear world-weary,
.....You can't sleep here.
. Theoretically yours,
.. G.G. Almighty
getwattert am 25. Jan 2013
* The dream was not of a day when all of God's children would be able to join hands and shout,
"WE GOT OSAMA!!1!"
getwattert am 21. Jan 2013
* Today I made a tuna casserole, but forgot the tuna.
getwattert am 16. Jan 2013
* "Init" is utterly charming versus the faux-rhetorical, e-modish "..., no?"
getwattert am 14. Nov 2012
* Join me while I live-twat the end of the whirled...'nstein!
@memestermaking/wiki'd
getwattert am 28. Okt 2012
* Casting a "protest vote" only if your state's not in play is like marching a sign around because it looks good in your bathroom mirror.
getwattert am 09. Okt 2012
* The last person who should be leader of the free world is somebody who "understands America".
getwattert am 16. Sep 2012
* The conspiracy is there is no conspiracy necessary.
getwattert am 02. Sep 2012
* The only universal fairness is the ability, however remote, to accept the inherent unfairness.
getwattert am 20. Aug 2012
* US debt-to-GDP 'd be global tops, were't not for its biggest export and the bulk of its most gross domestic product: Death & Obesity.
getwattert am 20. Jul 2012
* Früher war alles besser. Damals wußte ichs nicht. Morgen werde ich erst erkennen, dass Heut' auch besser war.
getwattert am 08. Jul 2012
* Filling in for Greece's G in the all-PIGS Eurocup semifinal, Germany shows up lazy & late.
getwattert am 28. Jun 2012
* re guilt being my sole radar: I don't let it steer my actions. Hence the guilt.
getwattert am 11. Jun 2012
* Yeah, okay, sure. He took 'em in, but he didn't exactly sell 'em out. Most are still buyin'.
@yvesdeceives/naked
getwattert am 15. Mai 2012
* The good cop is the one who offers you a cigarette after the other's just electrocuted your genitals.
getwattert am 02. Mai 2012
* Every cookie's fortune still makes sense when you add "online" to it.
getwattert am 29. Apr 2012
* In a supra-alternate actuality, it’s Stern throwing the elbows and World Peace pretending to care. @tafkara/comish
getwattert am 26. Apr 2012
* If a joke needs a ;-), it's something other than a joke.
getwattert am 17. Apr 2012
* Artificial Intelligent Design @fake.annteeks
getwattert von myChair am 14. Apr 2012
* Clooney to produce low-budget Splatter Snuff sequel.
@funDrazer/4fortythou
getwattert am 11. Apr 2012
* 'D'y'ever think that maybe you alienate yourself?'
'No fuckin' shit, Sherlock.'
getwattert am 30. Mär 2012
* When there is no one left to exploit, pick someone to exploit even more. You'll never lose the support of the least exploited.
getwattert am 28. Mär 2012
* One dream that comes true is the one where you piss all over yourself.
getwattert am 14. Mär 2012
* I suppose we've all made a deal with the devil, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
getwattert am 07. Mär 2012
* Health insurance mandate? The only time Germany should be your model is if you want to co-develop a weapon that'll do to the Japs in a flash (lickety split) what it took Reich 3.0 several years to do to the Jews.
getwattert am 06. Mär 2012
* INT.MEN'S ROOM
One patron holds the door for another who's still zipping up.
getwattert am 17. Feb 2012
* Turns out 'You're So Vain' is about B.B. King's guitar and Barry Manilow's dog!
getwattert am 11. Feb 2012
* Vorgeschriebenes Viralgeld also.
@TAZ/hubersprägen
getwattert am 04. Feb 2012
* How many have to be killed before it's called genocide?
getwattert am 24. Jan 2012
* Sigh.
getwattert am 05. Jan 2012
* G Clooney sez Dems eat their own. To make him feel better, I'd remind him that th'prez is eating a helluva lot more than just DC Donkey meat.
@nailwants/madderthanyou
getwattert am 29. Dez 2011
* Kim Jonglieren?
Bush Klin Ton Jonglieren?
Meh.
@disgay.kimexeunt/links
getwattert am 20. Dez 2011
* "What the Founding Fathers intended" is just another sacred cow. Nothing carved in stone should replace looking within oneself for the unstained truth.
getwattert am 15. Dez 2011
* Was ist denn? Platzangst? Also 'ne Art Agora- nacheifernde Anthropophobie? Bitte nicht nur Misanthrop sein. Det würd langweilig.
getwattert am 04. Dez 2011
* Regretsgiving. Now that I can sink my teeth into.
getwattert am 26. Nov 2011
* Humans must've created the gods to ensure having an audience; monotheists wanted to get the reviews in quicker.
getwattert am 9. Nov 2011
* "Beware the seductive allure
of narrative, my friends, especially a preselected one which accords with your particular preferences."
- A. Silber
@pwr.o'nrtv/quietsorrow
zitiert am 4. Nov 2011
* "Like my pop always said:
'If it's broke, don't fix it.'"
"You mean: 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it?'"
"He used to say that too."
getwattert am 27. Okt 2011
* Nothing says equal access better than legalese. @mnsr's.blg/greenwut
getwattert am 26. Okt 2011
* Bo Rama: Gaddafi death "warning to whoever's next". @rooters/toughguy
getwattert am 22. Okt 2011
* America's Next Top Boogeyman? You get to decide!
@shot2well/SSdancin
reCrowed am 21. Okt 2011
* Really shocked at how many are saying that Bo Ramney 20!2 is a "Myth".
getwattert am 19. Okt 2011
* One thing is clear.
getwattert am 12. Okt 2011
* Jobs' last words?
Sounded like "i" something or another.
getwattert am 06. Okt 2011
The comma in "RIP, Steve" wuz bigger than the featured pic of the pig's baton:
AriannOLine/SHOCK_VIDEO
#iWhatevers #iLulz
getwattert am 06. Okt 2011
* Deceptions appear.
getwattert am 04. Okt 2011
* Put your money in cornflakes and canned beans. And bet on the ongoing summary execution of those influential enuff 2warrant/it.
getwattert am 01. Okt 2011
* 'murka's rejection o' Rick Perry?
Why Josh Brolin, when we had the real deal?
getwattert am 24. Sep 2011
* 'Ahem' is damn straight, is all I'm sayin'...
getwattert am 24. Sep 2011
* Dayim!
@quoth_d_Crow!
getwattert am 24. Sep 2011
* Die Langeweile und der Langweiliger hängen zusammen rum. Es macht keinen Spaß.
getwattert am 20. Sep 2011
* Two planes from teh good war in two daze? Seems like Chicken Little is comin''ome d'roost. far.critter/cum'nlook-izwut
getwattert am 17. Sep 2011
* Je suis une chambre très magnifique... sans clé.
getwattert am 14. Sep 2011
* The last thing I wanna schlep around is the requisite receptacle for my relief.
getwattert am 12. Sep 2011
* "It turns out that in a civil war the emphasis falls on the latter word." -IOZ via mnsr's.blg/!sndtehsrties
angeschnitten am 29. Aug 2011
* Of course Mother Jones wouldn't read Mother Fucking Jones. cdav.blg/fkth@sht
getwattert am 26. Aug 2011
* I dunno which is worse, my ridicule of the way they think, or my thinking that way.
getwattert am 24. Aug 2011
* If a sperm cell could see, how big would we be?
getwattert am 15. Aug 2011
* Guilt is my sole radar; the paranoia's a vice.
getwattert am 16. Jul 2011
* All media are perfectly fair and balanced: Everything is a distraction from everything else.
getwattert am 06. Jul 2011
* Colombo doesn't fool me. He'll be coming back in a minute to ask one more question.
getwattert am 25. Jun 2011
* Dominique Meniscus walks without the Lord. The Lord watcheth not over Dominique Meniscus. Discuss.
getwattert am 17. Jun 2011
* João Gilberto is 80.
getwattert am 10. Jun 2011
* Worldview shattering irony goes under-appreciated.
getwattert am 09. Jun 2011
* Somebody should tell Olbermann that the elephant in the room ain' a Republican.
getwattert am 08. Jun 2011
* Two words: (shit, I just used 'em)
getwattert am 08. Jun 2011
* Well, forgive me for seeing Dems as the pot to the GOP's kettle instead of the other way around!
getwattert am 05. Jun 2011
* Is it me, or did this rapture get a lot more attention than the others?
getwattert am 22. Mai 2011
* LEAVE KARL-THEO ALONE!! Ihr seid doch bloß halt nur neidisch, da er so'n cooler Typ ist und so.
getwattert am 11. Mai 2011
* Bin genauso breit, um knapp durch die Tür zu kommen.
getwattert am 20. Apr 2011
* If I'm the way I am, there are others who're a lot worse.
getwattert am 23. Mär 2011
* IBM Watson hätte ganz gewiss abgekupfert.
getwattert am 20. Feb 2011
* The tweets are coming from inside the house!
getwattert am 05. Feb 2011
* Eschatological paranoia is fueled by an awareness that others are enduring a personal apocalypse now and that none familiar with its cause should remain immune to its effects.
getwattert am 26. Jan 2011
* Every time you take a shit you're the most famous person in the room.
getwattert am 18. Jan 2011
* Speakin o film. Hollywood's releasing a record number of 1-D movies this summer.
getwattert am 08. Jan 2011
* Any film I don't like is overrated by everyone who did.
getwattert am 02. Jan 2011
* Democrats are not weak-willed wimps who fail to stick up for their claimed constituencies with every compromise. But they play them on TV.
getwattert am 07. Dez 2010
* Klischees machen sich selber zu eigen. Sie begrüßen die Floskel mit offenen Zweigen.
getwattert am 17. Nov 2010
* Can a show about shark-jumping really jump the shark?
getwattert am 3. Nov 2010
* American-Exceptionalism encompasses the idea that, no matter what, at least one of them is worth voting for.
getwattert am 27. Okt 2010
* The folks I'm aware of who would never dream of not washing their fruits and vegetables before consumption don't wash them very thoroughly.
getwattert am 10. Okt 2010
* Maybe China's digging too.
getwattert am 02. Okt 2010
* Ich bange vor allem um das, was ich eventuell doch noch ändern könnte.
getwattert am 27. Sep 2010
* Tripping Out: the decision to trip in public is typically made before the trip begins.
getwattert am 15. Sep 2010
* Natüüürlich rücken die Rechten weiter nach rechts. Da können alle andere ruhig nach rechts rücken. Nenn das Rückendeckung.
getwattert am 08. Sep 2010
* Amount won to date via my e-mail address: more than all the money in the world. Sum claimed so far: empty trash.
getwattert am 31. Aug 2010
blogrolling in my time
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Goog luck.
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& the primal craft of cachinnation
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