* Weil was ja klar ist? Ach so!
Der Stoiber leidet an Aphasie
bewirkenden Schlagzeuganfällen! @Edmund.Transrapid/U-Tube getwattert am 31. Jan 2013
* Dear world-weary,
.....You can't sleep here. . Theoretically yours, .. G.G. Almighty
getwattert am 25. Jan 2013
* The dream was not of a day when all of God's children would be able to join hands and shout,
"WE GOT OSAMA!!1!"
getwattert am 21. Jan 2013
* Today I made a tuna casserole, but forgot the tuna.
getwattert am 16. Jan 2013
* "Init" is utterly charming versus the faux-rhetorical, e-modish "..., no?" getwattert am 14. Nov 2012
* Join me while I live-twat the end of the whirled...'nstein!
@memestermaking/wiki'd getwattert am 28. Okt 2012
* Casting a "protest vote" only if your state's not in play is like marching a sign around because it looks good in your bathroom mirror.
getwattert am 09. Okt 2012
* The last person who should be leader of the free world is somebody who "understands America".
getwattert am 16. Sep 2012
* The conspiracy is there is no conspiracy necessary.
getwattert am 02. Sep 2012
* The only universal fairness is the ability, however remote, to accept the inherent unfairness.
getwattert am 20. Aug 2012
* US debt-to-GDP 'd be global tops, were't not for its biggest export and the bulk of its most gross domestic product: Death & Obesity.
getwattert am 20. Juli 2012
* Früher war alles besser. Damals wußte ichs nicht. Morgen werde ich erst erkennen, dass Heut' auch besser war.
getwattert am 08. Juli 2012
* Filling in for Greece's G in the all-PIGS Eurocup semifinal, Germany shows up lazy & late.
getwattert am 28. Juni 2012
* re guilt being my sole radar: I don't let it steer my actions. Hence the guilt.
getwattert am 11. Juni 2012
* Yeah, okay, sure. He took 'em in, but he didn't exactly sell 'em out. Most are still buyin'.
@yvesdeceives/naked getwattert am 15. Mai 2012
* The good cop is the one who offers you a cigarette after the other's just electrocuted your genitals.
getwattert am 02. Mai 2012
* Every cookie's fortune still makes sense when you add "online" to it.
getwattert am 29. Apr 2012
* In a supra-alternate actuality, it’s Stern throwing the elbows and World Peace pretending to care.
@tafkara/comish getwattert am 26. Apr 2012
* If a joke needs a ;-), it's something other than a joke.
getwattert am 17. Apr 2012
* Artificial Intelligent Design
@fake.annteeks getwattert von myChair am 14. Apr 2012
* Clooney to produce low-budget Splatter Snuff sequel. @funDrazer/4fortythou getwattert am 11. Apr 2012
* 'D'y'ever think that maybe you alienate yourself?'
'No fuckin' shit, Sherlock.' getwattert am 30. Mar 2012
* When there is no one left to exploit, pick someone to exploit even more. You'll never lose the support of the least exploited. getwattert am 28. Mar 2012
* A dream that frequently comes true is the one where you piss all over yourself. getwattert am 14. Mar 2012
* I suppose we've all made a deal with the devil, otherwise we wouldn't be here. getwattert am 07. Mar 2012
* Health insurance mandate? The only time Germany should be your model is if you want to co-develop a weapon that'll do to the Japs in a flash (lickety split) what it took Reich 3.0 several years to do to the Jews. getwattert am 06. Mar 2012
* INT.MEN'S ROOM
One patron holds the door for another who's still fastening his pants.
getwattert am 17. Feb 2012
* Turns out 'You're So Vain' is about B.B. King's guitar and Barry Manilow's dog!
getwattert am 11. Feb 2012
* Vorgeschriebenes Viralgeld also. @TAZ/hubersprägen getwattert am 04. Feb 2012
* How many have to be killed before it's called genocide?
getwattert am 24. Jan 2012
* Sigh.
getwattert am 05. Jan 2012
* G Clooney sez Dems eat their own. To make him feel better, I'd remind him that th'prez is eating a helluva lot more than just DC Donkey meat. @nailwants/madderthanyou getwattert am 29. Dez 2011
* Kim Jonglieren?
Bush Klin Ton Jonglieren?
Meh. @disgay.kimexeunt/links getwattert am 20. Dez 2011
* "What the Founding Fathers intended" is just another sacred cow. Nothing carved in stone should replace looking within oneself for the unstained truth.
getwattert am 15. Dez 2011
* Was ist denn? Platzangst? Also 'ne Art Agora- nacheifernde Anthropophobie? Bitte nicht nur Misanthrop sein. Det würd langweilig.
getwattert am 04. Dez 2011
* Regretsgiving. Now that I can sink my teeth into.
getwattert am 26. Nov 2011
* Humans must've created the gods to ensure having an audience; monotheists wanted to get the reviews in quicker.
getwattert am 9. Nov 2011
* "Beware the seductive allure
of narrative, my friends, especially a preselected one which accords with your particular preferences." - A. Silber @pwr.o'nrtv/quietsorrow zitiert am 4. Nov 2011
* "Like my pop always said:
'If it's broke, don't fix it.'"
"You mean: 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it?'"
"He used to say that too."
getwattert am 27. Okt 2011
* Nothing says equal access better than legalese.
@mnsr's.blg/greenwut getwattert am 26. Okt 2011
* Bo Rama: Gaddafi death "warning to whoever's next".
@rooters/toughguy getwattert am 22. Okt 2011
* Put your money in cornflakes and canned beans. And bet on the ongoing summary execution of those influential enuff 2warrant/it.
getwattert am 01. Okt 2011
* 'murka's rejection o' Rick Perry?
Why Josh Brolin, when we had the real deal?
getwattert am 24. Sep 2011
* Siehst Du? Geht doch.
getwattert am 24. Sep 2011
* 'Ahem' is motherfuckin' right, is all I'm sayin'...
getwattert am 24. Sep 2011
* Man, that's one ass spankin' if I ever seen one!
QuothdCrow/mutha-fucka! getwattert am 24. Sep 2011
* Die Langeweile und der Langweiliger hängen zusammen rum. Es macht keinen Spaß.
getwattert am 20. Sep 2011
* Two planes from teh good war in two daze? Seems like Chicken Little is comin''ome d'roost.
far.critter/cum'nlook-izwut getwattert am 17. Sep 2011
* Je suis une chambre très magnifique... sans clé.
getwattert am 14. Sep 2011
* The last thing I wanna schlep around is the requisite receptacle for my relief.
getwattert am 12. Sep 2011
* "It turns out that in a civil war the emphasis falls on the latter word." -IOZ via
mnsr's.blg/!sndtehsrties angeschnitten am 29. Aug 2011
* Of course Mother Jones wouldn't read Mother Fucking Jones. cdav.blg/fkth@sht getwattert am 26. Aug 2011
* I dunno which is worse, my ridicule of the way they think, or my thinking that way.
getwattert am 24. Aug 2011
* If a sperm cell could see, how big would we be?
getwattert am 15. Aug 2011
* Guilt is my sole radar; the paranoia's a vice.
getwattert am 16. Jul 2011
* All media are perfectly fair and balanced: Everything is a distraction from everything else.
getwattert am 06. Jul 2011
* Colombo doesn't fool me. He'll be coming back in a minute to ask one more question.
getwattert am 25. Jun 2011
* Dominique Meniscus walks without the Lord. The Lord watcheth not over Dominique Meniscus. Discuss.
getwattert am 17. Jun 2011
* João Gilberto is 80.
getwattert am 10. Jun 2011
* Worldview shattering irony goes under-appreciated.
getwattert am 09. Jun 2011
* Somebody should tell Olbermann that the elephant in the room ain' a Republican.
getwattert am 08. Jun 2011
* Two words: (shit, I just used 'em)
getwattert am 08. Jun 2011
* Well, forgive me for seeing Dems as the pot to the GOP's kettle instead of the other way around!
getwattert am 05. Jun 2011
* Is it me, or did this rapture get a lot more attention than the others?
getwattert am 22. Mai 2011
* LEAVE KARL-THEO ALONE!! Ihr seid doch bloß halt nur neidisch, da er so'n cooler Typ ist und so.
getwattert am 11. Mai 2011
* Bin genauso breit, um knapp durch die Tür zu kommen.
getwattert am 20. Apr 2011
* If I'm the way I am, there are others who're a lot worse.
getwattert am 23. Mar 2011
* IBM Watson hätte ganz gewiss abgekupfert.
getwattert am 20. Feb 2011
* The tweets are coming from inside the house!
getwattert am 05. Feb 2011
* Eschatological paranoia is fueled by an awareness that others are enduring a personal apocalypse now and that none familiar with its cause should remain immune to its effects.
getwattert am 26. Jan 2011
* Every time you take a shit you're the most famous person in the room.
getwattert am 18. Jan 2011
* Speakin o film. Hollywood's releasing a record number of 1-D movies this summer.
getwattert am 08. Jan 2011
* Any film I don't like is overrated by everyone who did.
getwattert am 02. Jan 2011
* Democrats are not weak-willed wimps who fail to stick up for their base with every compromise. But they play them on TV.
getwattert am 07. Dez 2010
* Klischees machen sich selber zu eigen.
Sie begrüßen die Floskel mit offenen Zweigen.
getwattert am 17. Nov 2010
* Can a show about shark-jumping really jump the shark?
getwattert am 3. Nov 2010
* American-Exceptionalism encompasses the idea that, no matter what, at least one of them is worth voting for.
getwattert am 27. Okt 2010
* The folks I'm aware of who would never dream of not washing their fruits and vegetables before consumption don't wash them very thoroughly.
getwattert am 10. Okt 2010
* Maybe China's digging too.
getwattert am 02. Okt 2010
* Ich bange vor allem um das, was ich eventuell doch noch ändern könnte.
getwattert am 27. Sep 2010
* Tripping Out: the decision to trip in public is typically made before the trip begins.
getwattert am 15. Sep 2010
* Natüüürlich rücken die Rechten weiter nach rechts. Da können alle andere ruhig nach rechts rücken. Nenn das Rückendeckung.
getwattert am 08. Sep 2010
* Amount won to date "via my e-mail address": more than all the money in the world
Sum claimed so far: empty trash
getwattert am 31. Aug 2010