Monday, 9 October 2017

Gluttonily Greedily

It is said in certain corners here & there that today is a milestone birthday. It's not the day that grocery shoppers were loosed in the arteries of a waste of their own making, to snort & squeal their own way towards cleanups on aisle be damned if I'm gonna mop my own mess in addition to having to take over the task of schlepping my own wares to a checker not of my own damn choosing.

No, that day was one & one hundred years ago, a month ago or so. Today is the day we celebrate a storekeeper's official acquisition of the right to, I dunno, I guess get compensation from copycats? I'm patently no lawyer so can only wonder at the avarice level unleashed with that application as to how deep in dollars, and years yet to last, any ongoing remuneration.

I know of personal sloth afforded by bags & cans, but have personally seen the industrial diligence depicted in film segments on Sesame Street. How enchanting the wonder that brings beans to market! What I didn't know — though I'd been familiar enough with the country store in Westerns or the drugstore in Mayberry, Hollywood — was that fetching one's own Count Chocula abides a long proud tradition of outsourced labor... to the customer!

And what a way it was to have conceived it! You gotta envy the ingenuity. In all of our piggily wiggling, we're in fact sweating schmucks as if we don't need no stinking wages! They should be paying us to cart our shit to the stand! And for all these hundred years... I want revenge! Though I suppose in the world of legal predators, not forgoing the filling of one's own wagon might add up to signing off on a deal to forgo a paycheck for the right to engage in activities listed in Patent Number US1242872 A.

Lawyer up, people! I wanna see this shit go down!

Just who's doing the abiding here?