Saturday, 28 March 2020

Dreck's in the mail.

US Executive penned the icing on the freshly baked cake at a celebration yesterday that included none of Opposition Party's Bakers, whom he did not invite to the ceremony in spite of their having pathetically kneaded the dough. Whether or not this was seen as a slight appeared to be a moot point, however.

“This is a strange and evil disease,” said Opposition Party Leader, referring to the conventional precondition to give the largest private institutions wholesale access to capitalize off of those who are starving for bread. As to how popular the cake would be with their constituencies, he quipped, “When we sprinkle the crumbs, we’ll wave from a distance.”

Controversially baked into the cake is all the dough in the world, said by Bipartisan Butchers to be the amount necessary to keep the thick, malleable, sometimes elastic blob of paste rolling. Earlier in the week, they sent the dough, including some previously planned for mincemeat pies, down to the Bakery for prep.

Recognizing the trend that would result upon that unanimous decision from the anticipation where a portion of that would wind up once the leavings had slipped through the revelers' fingers, Chief of Amazon began gathering up the scraps he'd dumped to the rats on Dung Hill last month.

The historic amount of dough was according to Executive "twice as large" as in any confection in history. When asked about the accuracy of that comparison his retort was crisp.

"Was it less than half or more than half or something in between? A lot of people are saying that or the other thing. You're a shit stain of a reporter, okay? None for you. Who else wants a bite?"


Krzysztof Eugeniusz Penderecki
23 November 1933 – 26 March 2020