Sunday 9 August 2009

Sunday Night Playhouse

Bill Gets a Little Pyongyang
Standing shoulder to elbow: former US President William Jefferson Clinton; current North Korean President Kim Jong Il; and several dignitaries from both countries. The occasion is a photo-op upon the announcement of a meeting of the leaders.

President Clinton's mind begins to wander as he recalls a moment from his past:::
...in the oval office at the beginning of his term, receiving a gift from former President Reagan: A jar of jellybeans...

Clinton: (with a crooked smile) Whadda wunnerful geeift! Hwaht --- a --- wunn - er - ful --- geeift!

His focus returns to the present and he thinks to himself, “I sure could use the ‘ol Gipper t’ silence what I know is gonna be the standard line from the rightwing” – upon which the former president then fantasizes:::

Hannity: …he just worsened our position to bargain, and since what this administration says it plans to do with these rogue states, bargain, which is horrible to begin with. So the former president, with Obama's blessing—if you believe the media—although I wouldn’t be surprised if Bubba went it all alone on this one... so anyway, what he did was just ruined their own plan, which would have had to include a strong bargaining position. Man oh man, if President Reagan were alive he could say a thing or two about the importance of a strong bargaining position when it comes to dealing with a dictator with nuclear weapons…

Reagan materializes in the position where his guest would normally be.

Reagan (to Hannity): Now wait just a minute there, fella. I DO know a little something about bargaining, and lemme tell ya, you can’t strike a good bargain without appealing to your adversary’s heart.

Back in the present again, Clinton whispers under his breath.

Clinton: Whadda wunnerful gift.

Posing for the cameras, Kim Jong Il peers out of the corner of his eye to see what the hell is going on with Clinton. Not one not to notice, Clinton regains his composure and, after an awkward pause trying to think of some kind of small talk, he whispers, so that only President Kim can hear.

Clinton: I knew a fella back home — ’d fuck a dawg.

President Kim ponders this solemnly for a moment and then slowly and quietly makes his own admission.

Kim: I....eat....dog. (And after a slight pause, he vehemently adds, startling Clinton with his raised voice) YOU EAT DOG!