Thursday, 31 December 2009

To Assure Regular Placement

The advent of the '10s in the post-Christ third millennium brings with it solar and lunar opposition. That is, this year's celebration of another completed flight around the sun corresponds to a full moon.

On this continent we are to witness a partial lunar eclipse, as well. What this means, as far as I know, is that the full illumination of the moon will be slightly obscured by our shadow. Maybe I'll try to make bunny puppets; that'd sure make the wolves howl. The dark side of the lunar surface, however, will remain completely dark.

It appears that a bailout might be necessary to guarantee the solvency of the television networks. Perhaps an annual tax is in order or - as they do here in Deutschland - a monthly licensing fee assessed the owner of any device capable of descrambling broadcast signals. Or maybe some of the federal budget could be allocated to pay for all of those Pharma spots. That way, the ostensibly endangered ad revenue could be subsidized and the pill pushers 'd save on commercials.

Or maybe just cover the whole thing with one big tarp. Sort of a public-private partnership. The concerns could even be merged: J&J with GE, Pfizer with Fox, Disney & Westinghouse with Eli Lilly & Merck. And they could have tax-free status, like a religion.

It'd be a win-win: continued free tv and more money for medicinal research. Maybe they could develop a tablet called TARP, a sort of super, all-in-one anti newly realized condition drug. The commercial tie-in would make it a hit. If not, they could always find a midseason replacement.

Is Dick Clark still alive? I wonder if gentech has a stem-cell steroid-Viagra cocktail capable of propping him up for one more ball dropping. "Man, that guy looks so young!"

Here's to many happy revolutions!