Friday 11 November 2011

Unleaven Novocaine 11

A mayor, a monsignor, and a magistrate are shooting the shit over martinis & meth. The mayor is bragging about his ability to navigate the corruption of local politics; the monsignor is extolling the power in the belief of the transubstantiation of the body & blood when accompanied by a heightened state of sexual arousal and the submissive fear of a male virgin; and the magistrate? He says, "Boys, I just love to see my buddies get off!"

Freud posited a frightening frequency of child sexual abuse within the extended family and organizations of authority; depending on who you believe, he either subsequently came to his senses, or was scared back into the box marked "esteemed colleague".

Either way, thanks to Freud, we now know the extent to which children "fantasize" about being raped. And thanks to how much we cherish our children, "innocent until proven guilty" has become "Not only did it not happen, but they were asking for it!"

By testifying to the grand jury that his former colleague had been seen "fondling or doing something of a sexual nature to a young boy", Joe Paterno was using his male instincts to attenuate the perception of his culpability: As a manly man, he knows that stickin' it in is the most awesome part of the act. And with copulation being the goal of the drive - especially for sports fanatics and the religious - it stands to reason that it would be the most unspeakable crime under the specific circumstances. What's speakable? Why fondling, of course!

In JoePa's noggin, "no penetration" means the ball had not been advanced, so he gave his bud another couple of downs to get it right. No harm, no penalty. Shower elsewhere. See ya at the fund-raiser.

And that's just the best-case scenario.

Outrage expressed in boilerplate like "inconceivable" is phony; nothing is inconceivable, even if ordinary folk have an aversion to the whole truth.

As soon as somebody says that Sandusky may have been pimping pre-pubes out to his donors, somebody else says that conspiracy theories don't help the case against him.

Mark my words: We will continue to do everything in our power to relativize reality to protect ourselves from believing the worst about human nature.

If it turns out Sandusky had an accomplice, I just cannot hear that it was a judge. And if it's revealed that a justice of the peace was, indeed, buggering Second Milers along the Happy Valley, please spare us the talk about his having let a hitman walk in exchange for the whacking of a Pennsylvania prosecutor. And if that whole sequence of events proves to be factual, we can be sure that it was only the few of 'em involved.

Yes, there are child pornography rings, but they are made up of Internet freaks and outcasts, not influential members of society. Okay, maybe there's a politician here or there, but it's not like they have a big network set up to protect themselves.

Sure, they lie us into wars and steal public money, but why would they ritually abuse our children?

Happy Veterans Day, pride mongers.