Saturday 25 May 2019

The End of May

For the latest downing, a replacement will be required, albeit as theoretical as the conceit that representative democracy involves subjects' democratically choosing representatives to represent even the lowliest subjects' concerns and not, as the case may be, a conspiracy of lobby-vetted party peers & pretenders and a media combine administered by corporate cartels.

Irrespective of these and other implied requirements, the sole practical criterion is that whoever is selected should command the confidence of the House of Commons. Putting aside for the moment — or indeed in consideration of the fact — that it has yet to be proven that any human beings will be involved in the selection, I present in no particular order possible successors for the Sovereign to consider (if Liz is listening):

Jennie June
first transgender autobiographer
Pros: en vogue
Cons: dead

Cato June
Superbowl champion
Pros: team player,
metaphorical battlefield experience

June Millington
Filipina American musician
Pros: mixed like Meghan Markle, original girl rocker
Cons: mixed like Meghan Markle (see previous candidate)

June Rowlands
Canadian politician
Pros: political experience,
member of Commonwealth
Cons: Rigor Mortis Lady?

June Lockhart
American actress
Pros: still alive,
Hollywood experience,
politically unaccountable
(campaigned for JFK, then Nixon)
Cons: Roman Catholic

South Korean singer
Pros: from nation w/ hard border
Cons: that whole "wog" thing

 June Cleaver
fictional television mom
Pros: perfect name for what's coming
Cons: none

God save the subjects of the coming sentence.