The End of May

For the latest downing, a replacement will be required, albeit as theoretical as the conceit that representative democracy involves subjects' democratically choosing representatives to represent even the lowliest subjects' concerns and not, as the case may be, a conspiracy of lobby-vetted party peers & pretenders and a media combine administered by corporate cartels.

Irrespective of these and other implied requirements, the sole practical criterion is that whoever is selected should command the confidence of the House of Commons. Putting aside for the moment — or indeed in consideration of the fact — that it has yet to be proven that any human beings will be involved in the selection, I present in no particular order possible successors for the Sovereign to consider (if Liz is listening):

Jennie June

first transgender autobiographer

Pros: en vogue

Cons: dead

Cato June

Superbowl champion

Pros: team player,
metaphorical battlefield experience

Cons: "bloody Yankee wog"

June Millington

Filipina American musician

Pros: mixed like Meghan Markle, original girl rocker

Cons: mixed like Meghan Markle (see previous candidate)

June Rowlands

Canadian politician

Pros: political experience,

member of Commonwealth

Cons: Rigor Mortis Lady?

June Lockhart

American actress

Pros: still alive,

Hollywood experience,

politically unaccountable

(campaigned for JFK, then Nixon)

Cons: Roman Catholic

Jun

South Korean singer

Pros: from nation w/ hard border

Cons: that whole "wog" thing

 June Cleaver

fictional television mom

Pros: perfect name for what's coming

Cons: none

God save the subjects of the coming sentence.