Sunday 7 August 2011

Taliban Downgrades Special Forces
to Kill Team, Gives Helicopter
'Traditional Chinook Burial'

For the first time in Afghanistan War history, United States Special Ops Forces - including 20 Navy SEALs that had led the mission to sell subscriptions of The New Yorker magazine in order to fund their trip to the Sayd Abad district of Wardak province - have been downgraded to a ragtag band of grunts wearing body parts as trophies. The Taliban, which had on previous occasions reduced the status of regular combat troops to corpses, said the downgrade was inevitable even had the SEALs not met their quota.

- Dead Soldier Whistle-blows: "That ain't the way it went down."
- China: "We taking bath here!"
- I Ching: "No time like the present."
- Al CIAda Statement: "Cost to train a SEAL: over $1 million; cost of one Boeing Chinook: $35 million; cost to freedom: Ba Ba Booey!"